Watch The Birdie? No, Wait, Was That An Eagle?

Watching golf can be a very confusing way to spend time if you are a novice to the sport. Like any sport, it has its own scoring system, but that is a little idiosyncratic in itself. Then there is the way the players dress, which in some cases is enough to confuse anyone in possession of a working pair of eyes. But perhaps the most confusing element of watching a game of golf is the seemingly arcane terminology used to refer to different elements of the game. This can make the whole sport seem like some sort of prank being played on an unsuspecting novice. So maybe some of the terms need to be explained better.

Firstly, what is with those terms used in the scoring system? Well, “par” had been used for anything that was considered an acceptable standard for years before its application in golf. So in this respect, it was a new application of existing terminology. But why “Bogey” for a bad score? Well, the story goes that a song of the late 19th Century had the lyric “I’m the Bogey Man, catch me if you can”. This led to people seeing the “bogey” on the golf course as something to be aimed for – and among amateurs, who still tend to play off a handicap, it still is. But the term was used interchangeably with “par” for many years, only adopting its current meaning in the early 20th Century.

As for “birdie”, this comes from further back than “bogey”. Early in the 19th Century, the word “bird” was used in much the same way as people nowadays would say “cool” – something that really stands out and impresses. Playing a hole in one shot fewer than is expected – now that is cool, surely? Hence the term “birdie” came to be used in reference to people doing just that. So why an “eagle” for someone playing a hole in two shots less than the par? Well, it’s obvious, is it not? It’s a kind of birdie, but it is bigger. And as you may have guessed, the use of the term “albatross” to describe playing a Par 5 hole in two shots is simply a continuation on that theme.

Golf Clubs – No, The Other Kind

When you take up golf, one thing that you will almost always seek to do is get membership of a club. The fact that a club is both something you use to hit a golf ball and something you join in order to get the chance to hit a golf ball has led to no small amount of confusion in the past. But simply put, if your friend tells you he is going to join a golf club, he probably does not mean that he is going to attach himself to a reinforced titanium stick while, unless your friend is very wealthy, should he tell you he is going to buy a golf club on his lunch break, he probably doesn’t mean he is off to put a down payment on several acres of real estate.

Joining a golf club is actually surprisingly difficult in many cases. There has been no small amount of controversy in the past over people seeking to join one and being refused on what seemed like either very arbitrary, or possibly heavily discriminatory, grounds. One of the world’s most famous clubs, the Augusta National (home to major golf competition the US Masters), first had a black member in 1990. As of yet, it has never had a female member, although it does allow women to play the course as guests of its members. The Augusta National is far from the only club not to have female members, but it is – as the current permanent home of the Masters – the highest-profile club with single-sex membership. Its chairman, Hootie Johnson, says that the club may well have female members in the future, but that he will not be threatened into making a change.

In general, though, most golf clubs have a far more relaxed membership policy than the Augusta National or Scotland’s Muirfield, although in many cases membership policy is dictated by the club’s current members whose own opinions and motivations are theirs and theirs alone. The best way to ensure you can get membership of a club is to be friends with someone who is already a member. A little light lobbying on their part, and if you are lucky, you’ll be given the call.

So, Having Minus Points … That’s Good?

If you have never followed golf before, or if you are explaining it to someone who never has, the weird and wonderful world of golf scoring makes for an interesting way to spend a bit of time. In so much of life, we look to have positive numbers. Minus ten degrees is really cold, while plus sixty is nice and mild. On your bank statement, you never want to see a minus and if you do, the number next to it had better be pretty small. We even assign the words “positive” and “negative” where numbers are concerned, and nothing can be more prejudicial than that, right?

So to have a sport where you actively set out to record as low a score as possible will always be confusing for some. It makes perfect sense to the golfer and the golf enthusiast, though. Indeed, it helps to think of golf as a race of sorts – a race between men in ill-designed knitwear and slacks rather than lycra, but a race nonetheless. When you’re watching athletics, you know it’s been a good race if the numbers next to the winner’s name are low. Although if, as in golf, those numbers are in the negative then maybe it’s time for drugs tests all around.

The thing to keep in mind with golf is that you have a set number of shots which is judged as a fair limit in which to get around the course, called a par. On an eighteen-hole course this will almost always be between seventy and seventy two. The ideal is to get a score that is less than this – to get around the course in, for example, sixty eight shots. If you hit 68 on a course with a par of 72, then you have recorded a score of four under par, which is recorded on your score card as –4. In a professional tournament, there may be as many – indeed there usually will be as many – as four rounds. So for a competition around a par 72 course, the competition par will be 288, and the winner will always be the person with the lowest score.

Clubbed To Death? Your Wallet May Think So.

Anyone who takes up golf will have one immediate and expensive concern to take care of – the equipment. And we are not talking about offensively garish knitwear and those hats with sun visors on them although, if you are interested, those will cost a pretty penny too. No, think more along the lines of the equipment you will need in order to actually play the game. If you are going to play golf with any kind of regularity, and any kind of seriousness, then let’s just say that golf clubs – in both senses of the word “clubs” – will take up quite a bit of your disposable income.

This piece, though, will concentrate on the clubs that you carry around with you, the ones you use to hit the ball. A casual glance may have you believing that these are very simple items, made from metal, wood or some combination thereof, with a rubber grip. But if you are to fit in down at the country club, you will need state-of-the-art clubs to play with. The latest clubs are all the result of a lot of research and some extremely technical design work, built to optimise the distance you can get on your drives, the spin on your approach shots, and the accuracy in your putting game. These are the kinds of club that Woods, Mickelson and Els use and, although they won’t make you play like the professionals, they will give you some of the advantages those guys have.

The fact is, for a decent beginner’s set of golf clubs you will be looking at potentially getting no change from an outlay of $300. This will be a set that contains three woods (unfortunately, not Tiger – he would help anyone’s game), five irons, a driver, a putter and two recovery clubs (usually a pitching wedge and a sand wedge). There are more clubs available, and the average professional will have a few more in their bag so that every situation is covered. But those guys can afford to pay a caddy to carry their bag, and pay them handsomely to carry more weight. Unless you have that kind of money to spend, it is worth taking into account that the average beginners’ sets will suit your needs admirably, and individual clubs can always be added as and when you feel the need (and as your caddy’s upper-body strength improves).